This past week I was able to get together with two of my sisters/cousins/besties (they are all of those and more ♥) and we had a fun time playing with an old childhood favorite of mine, bubbles! It was so much fun and helped raise my spirits. I was going to write a story about it for this post, however my thoughts have been circling around change and growth and relationships lately and I’d like to try and put them into words.
I believe there come times in our lives, if we are lucky, where we begin to really step back and look at where we are and our thoughts and feelings about our life. For me, these moments seem to happen after really emotional events. I won’t go into details, because they are personal. But after I got past the flood of the emotions, I started looking at not only how my life is now but how its been in the past and the direction it seems to be going. While doing this I thought a lot about past relationships and the people I had them with. Some I think of often and miss dearly, but I found out recently that sometimes reconnecting just doesn’t work, it doesn’t feel the same as before. And really it can’t, because we are always growing and changing. We can’t move backwards because that would hinder our movement going forward and really forward is the direction we need to go or all that change and growth would have been for naught.
As I thought more about this and looked at some of my current relationships and their past and where I thought they could lead in the future I began to feel more and more at peace. People grow and change at different rates, and sometimes while one person may want to move forward another may want to stay in a time they believe they were happier. I don’t think this is a bad thing, its just human nature, but what do you do if you are the one needing to move forward while the ones you care about wish they were back at a happier time?
It’s hard to think of leaving people behind, especially by choice. We care about them so much that it’s only right it be hard for us. But sometimes I think we need to look at what is better for ourselves as well as what is best for them. If you stay and let them stay stuck in that time they think everything was great and happy are you really helping them? Will their own growth and change become stagnant? How about you? Do you need to stop your own growth and change to make others happy? What if you following your own path, even if it may be apart form them, is what helps them see that things could be even better than that time they want to return to if they just take the steps towards the future?
I think it boils down to how people feel about change. Many hate it and will fight against it. Which I find understandable, you have no way of knowing if some changes will be good or bad beforehand. I, myself, am not really scared of change. Maybe because I have such a deep love of books and all the different worlds and characters in them. Maybe because of my love of being able to create all kinds of my own characters on Secondlife. Maybe because I spent a lot of my childhood wishing for one change or another or using books and writing stories as my escape. There are of course some changes I fight, I’m only human, but there are also many times where I look at my life and feel at peace with the realization that it is time I make some changes to try and better my life. My goals for this year were a great start at some changes I have been making and have been making my life better little by little.
After all of this thinking, I am still not sure what I will chose to do about the relationships I am contemplating but I am more and more at peace that I will be able to face it and move forward to see what the future holds for me. I don’t want to be someone stuck in a happy moment in the past and miss what I may find in the future. If this means letting go of something I treasure before it becomes something unhealthy for not only me but others involved, well I would rather let go and have hope for the future happiness to come than to tarnish the good memories and turn them into something I am sad to remember. To make sure I feel I make the right choice I am taking my time, because I know rushing things is rarely a good idea.
This turned into quite a long post, but I hope it provokes some thought in whoever reads it. While it is mostly for my benefit, helping me to clarify my thoughts a little to myself, I would love if it was of help to others who may need it as well. ♥
Credits for Me:
Mesh Body/Feet –Belleza– Isis V3
Bento Hands – Vista Animations & Co – Bento Prohands V.2
Mesh Head – LeLutka – Simone 2.2 (Bento version)
Skin – Pink Fuel – Doll V2
Eyebrows – Au Naturel – Pale Pink (tinted on lelutka hud)
Eyes – S0ng – Sugar~ Ice Eye [R] & Violet Eye [L]
Ears – Mandala – STEKING_EARS_Season5 ver B
Shape (Face) – Coffee Break – Cafe Bombon Shape for Lelutka BENTO
Tail – Sweet Thing – Fluffy Neko Tail (Bento)
Hair – Wasabi Pills – Suzy
Outfit – Rainbow Panda – Eat Sleep Music Panda Outfit
Poses – tea soup – Blowing Bubbles and Snatching Bubbles sets